I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
