You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
