just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize