There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
