even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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