I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
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