Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
