So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
