i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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