Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
