I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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