there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Randomize
