so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
God I need to hump something, right now.
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