she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
His hands were made for my vagina.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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