am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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