A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
