I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
