there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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