Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
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Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
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You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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