Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
