Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
