haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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