Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
