so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Can I color on your dick again?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
