I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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