Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
