Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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