i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
