that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize