if i died would you start the facebook group?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize