I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
