I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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