I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
