piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
it glows. i had to have it.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
