Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
she peed on how many people?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
