Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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