i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
