yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
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