girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize