Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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