Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
