Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
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He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
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I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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