The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize