dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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