I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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