the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i drank out of a bidet.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
