That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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