why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
