I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
