Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
The beer is more important than you right now.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
