You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
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