Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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