is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
