btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
