I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Floor bacon is actually really good
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
