Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
