He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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