Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
