awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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