Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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