Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
