they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
