My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Congratulations! We have a period
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
