Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
