whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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