How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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