I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
