i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
